Trapped

Trapped I live in two worlds.
One of those worlds I am able to be myself and not worry what the hell people think of me.
The other world is one I live in is full of scornful and sardonic looks and comments.
I desire to remain in the blissful state, but I am forced to live in the gray area between happiness and hopelessness.
I realize that life is not a fairytale with living happily everafter.
But why does my life have to be a tragic and painful experience?
I constantly feel trapped in this painful world, I can not escape.